Mini ep. 6: Own Problems

Own Problems

Featuring: Gwen Cooper

With: Captain Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones

And: The Doctor, A Cyberman, Trinity Wells, English Newsreader and Myfanwy

Take a look at this- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrgEc7xRz-Q (music featured in this mini ep.)


Gwen Cooper walked into Torchwood 3’s Hub.


She spotted Ianto, working on a computer. The rest of the Hub was quiet. She walked down the steps and headed over to Ianto.

“Where is everyone?” Gwen asked.
“Jack’s still here,” Ianto replied “in the vaults.”

Gwen nodded her head distractedly. She walked over to another computer, and began tapping.

“Rift activity’s normal,” Gwen noted.
“An ordinary day. That makes a change,” Ianto muttered.

Suddenly Jack rushed into the room, smiled at Ianto and began tapping on a keyboard. A news channel popped up.

“We’re in trouble,” Jack said in his American accent.
“What is it, Jack?” Gwen asked.
“Not bloody Daleks again, I hope,” Ianto said.
“No, it’s not that,” Jack replied, flicking a switch so the news reader can be heard.

Trinity Wells began to report.

“-rship has resumed at Portsmouth Docks, Britain,” Trinity Wells reports “wait! We have some incoming news! There has been a reported attack by Extraterrestrials with eight arms in the UK area of London. We are advising people to stay in their homes, and get off of the streets.”

“Jack,” Gwen asked worriedly “that is just London isn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” Jack replied.
“Is there anything we can do for them?” Ianto asked.
“I don’t know,” Jack said “Gwen! Gorgeous Gwen! Set up a scan around Cardiff, we will see if any eight-legged monsters fancy coming our way. Ianto, search through the news for any more reports.”
“Yes sir,” Ianto said quietly.

Ianto and Gwen start typing quickly, and Jack runs back to the vaults.

“Any luck?” Ianto asked.
“No. I’m still looking,” Gwen replied.

Jack runs back to his computer.

“Sorry, Janet,” Jack explained.
“Jack, I’ve found something,” Gwen said worriedly.
“What is it?” Ianto asked.
“Something’s come through the rift,” Gwen answered.
“What?” Jack asked.
“I don’t know, the computers are going crazy. What happened to the Time Bubble? It would protect us from the eight-legs and the new thing,” Gwen said.
“It is fully functioning,” Jack replied.
“It’s getting closer,” Gwen stated “it’s heading straight for us!”

Ianto tapped on his keyboard.

“News report,” Ianto said, flicking a switch.

“We interrupt this probably interesting TV program with some breaking news. Eight-legged monsters are attacking London. We urge people to stay in their homes. Thank you. That is all. Now back to day time TV,” the English newsreader reported.

Gwen and Ianto look at each other.

“Tracking the object,” Gwen said of the rift occurrence.
“It’s definitely extraterrestrial. It spells trouble whatever it is,” Jack commented.

Suddenly, part of Torchwood Hub blew up. In a massive explosion, Gwen, Jack and Ianto are thrown over. Ianto gets up, but is knocked over by another explosion. Everyone stands up.

“The Time Bubble’s down,” Ianto muttered “we’ve lost Tosh’s protection.”
“Jack, what do we do?” Gwen asked.

Then the phone in the Hub rings. Gwen answers it.

“Hello,” a voice on the other end of the phone can be heard.
“Hello?” Gwen asked.
“Gwen Cooper,” the voice said “Is Jack there? It’s the Doctor. Tell him-”
“About the aliens?” Gwen asked the Doctor.
“Oh, he knows,” the Doctor said.
“Are the eight-legs in Cardiff?” Gwen asked.
“What? No, the Octopli aren’t in Cardiff,” the Doctor replied.
“Good, we’ve got enough problems of our own,” Gwen muttered.
“You’ve got problems of your own? Like what?” the Doctor asked.
“It’s a Cyberman,” Ianto told Gwen.
“A Cyberman,” Gwen told the Doctor “probably from the rift.”
“Oh,” the Doctor said surprised.

Jack is still tapping away on the computers.

“Jack, get the machine guns!” Gwen cried.

The Doctor lowered the phone in the Octopli ship. Gwen lowered the phone in Torchwood.
Jack gives Gwen and Ianto a machine gun each. The Cyberman steps inside Torchwood Hub.

“FIRE!” Jack yelled.

The Torchwood team fire, Gwen screaming in anger.


The bullets continuously bounce off the Cyberman. The Cyberman steps forward. Ianto steps back. Gwen steps back too, still firing for all she’s worth. Jack, however, steps forward.

“Run,” Jack shouted “I’ll hold it off!”

Gwen and Ianto don’t need telling twice. They run and Ianto ducks behind a computer. Gwen stares transfixed as the Cyberman steps forward and ‘Deletes’ Jack. Jack falls into the pool, and is electrocuted even more. He screams in agony.

“Now what do we do?” Gwen asked, stepping backwards.
“Run?” Ianto suggested as the Cyberman advanced on Gwen.

Gwen turns and runs away. She is running down a corridor, with the Cyberman behind her. Ianto puts on Benny Hill music that is used to signify a chase. Gwen is chased by the Cyberman down the corridor the other way. Gwen chases the Cyberman, branding a new machine gun.

“Arghh!” Gwen cried, chasing it down the other way “Ianto turn that bloody music off!”

Ianto flicks the switch embarrassedly, and the music stops. So does the Cyberman. Jack pulled himself out of the electrocuting pool, and blows the Cyberman’s head off, which remains perched on its neck. Myfanwy swoops down, and perches on the handlebar head of the Cyberman. She flies off with it gleefully. Later, Gwen, Ianto and Jack are sat down, each with a strong drink. A blip blip can be heard.


“Where getting a new signal,” Gwen said, stepping up to a computer.
“What is it?” Jack asked.
“It says- ‘abort the invasion! Get back to the spaceship!’ Jack, the Octopli are leaving!” Gwen cried.

The team of Torchwood 3 leap around and cheer, along with most of London, as the Octopli ship returns home…

"Now, Jack. Hadn't you better fix the Time Bubble?" Ianto asked cheekily.

Jack downed the rest of his drink, grimaced, and began.

THE END.