Mini Ep. 9: Greek Gourmet

Starring:
The Doctor
Georgia
And Conner
With: Sellina, Archimedes, Nikronvert, Golgotha, Cleon

The Doctor pulled a lever and the TARDIS flew through the vortex. Georgia and Conner grabbed onto the console as it began to shake.
“What’s going on?” Georgia asked.
“There’s just been a big bang in the galaxy we’re passing,” the Doctor exclaimed, “Fancy a peak?”
“We saw a Big Bang last week,” Conner replied.
“Fine, where do you want to go?” the Doctor asked.
“The Past,” Conner said, shrugging and added slowly, “The Year 325 BC, Ancient Greece.”
“You’re very precise,” the Doctor said, “I haven’t been to Ancient Greece for a while, I suppose it is about time we popped in for a visit.”

“Can we go for a Greek Dinner?” Georgia asked.
“How do you know they’ll be a party in Ancient Greece?” the Doctor asked.
“I don’t know, but if there is can we go?” Georgia asked.
“Are you two alright?” the Doctor asked Georgia and Conner.
“Why?” Georgia questioned.
“Meh,” the Doctor replied, pulling a lever as the TARDIS headed towards 4th century BC. The TARDIS materialised in a quite square in the middle of a Greek Town. White stones houses and temples that surrounded the square were illuminated in the red glow from the setting sun. A hooded woman crossed the square, as she passed the TARDIS, the Doctor, Georgia and Conner exited it.

“Excuse me,” Conner said to the woman, “My friend often gets us lost, where are we?”
“Athens, sir,” the woman replied.
“And when are we?” Georgia asked.
“I do not understand miss,” the woman said.
“Hello, I’m Professor Smith,” the Doctor interrupted, “Who are you?”
“I am Sellina,” Sellina answered, “I am a Maid in Professor Archimedes' household.”
“Archimedes, you’re joking! We’re a bit off then Conner,” the Doctor said.
“As usual,” Georgia added.

“How do you know my master?” Sellina asked.
“He’s famous!” the Doctor exclaimed.
“For his fantastic parties?” Sellina questioned, looking a little confused.
“No, because he’s a great mathematician, inventor, engineer and astronomer,” the Doctor replied, “We had such a laugh! He probably won’t recognise me, I’ve changed. I will tell you something though, I designed the Claw of Archimedes, and it helped defend us against an army of –”

“Doctor,” Georgia said as she turned to the Doctor and Conner. Conner realised she had tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong Georgia?” Conner asked, as he comforted her.
“Ancient Greece, don’t you remember?” Georgia said crying. Conner shook his head and Georgia turned to the Doctor, who stared at Georgia with a sad expression on his face.
“You know, don’t you Doctor?” Georgia said, as she tried to hold back her tears.
“Ancient Greece was the first place we travelled to after we defeated the Slitheen,” the Doctor said replied.
“Richard, oh I’m sorry Georgia,” Conner said, “Let’s go back Doctor.”
“No!” Georgia said, shaking herself, and brushing away her tears, “We’re going to a party!”
“Have you been invited to Archimedes party?” Sellina asked. The Doctor, Georgia and Conner turned to face Sellina, who had been watching them silently for the last minute.
“We might as well have been,” the Doctor replied, getting out his psychic paper.

It was quarter of an hour later, when the Doctor, Georgia and Conner arrived at Archimedes house. Decorations covered the place, and light shone from inside, as the sky turned navy blue. Standing by the door was a man wearing a white chiton, and holding a scroll of parchment. As the Doctor, Georgia and Conner approached the man saw them and stroked his grey beard with his hand.

“Names?” the man asked as they approached.
“I’m the Doctor,” the Doctor replied, “I’ve been invited to your Gourmet party.”
“It’s not my party, my master Archimedes’ party,” the man replied.
“Of course, that’s what I meant,” the Doctor answered.
“You don’t seem to be on the guest list,” the man muttered.
“Ah, well that’s strange, but we do have an invitation,” the Doctor replied, flourishing the psychic paper at the man.
“Oh, well that seems to be in order,” the man said quickly, and the Doctor nodded, “I’m Cleon Bonavarte, by the way your Emperorship.”

Georgia rolled her eyes, as the Doctor, Conner and Georgia entered the huge white house. They came out into a courtyard where a huge statue stood in the middle of a pool of water. There were many Greek men and women dotted around chatting and eating from large white plates, as musicians played on ancient harps and other instruments. There were servants carrying wine, a large woman singing loudly as people around her applauded, and standing next to the pool was a man with a cheerful booming voice and a large brown beard. He was surrounded by a large group of people, all wearing the latest ancient Greek fashion.

“Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to my party,” Archimedes beamed at everyone.
“He seems cheerful,” Conner commented.
“But he sounds drunk too,” Georgia replied, “Oooh food!” Georgia rushed over to a servant who was carrying a plate of tiny fish. Georgia grabbed one.
“Thanks, hmmm these are lovely! Talk about gourmet,” Georgia exclaimed as she tried the fish, “Can I have another?”
“You can have as many as you like,” the servant replied, so Georgia took a handful and began to make her way back to where Conner was standing, unsure of what to do. The Doctor, meanwhile, had disappeared in the crowd of people surrounding Archimedes. A man with short dark hair and a pointed face, stopped Georgia with his hand before she reached Conner.

“I’d go easy on those,” the man said to Georgia, looking at the fish in her hand. He had a nasty, croaky voice.
“I will thank you very much,” Georgia snapped.
“I wouldn’t want a pretty girl like you to end up like my wife,” the man replied nastily jerking his head towards the large woman singing.
“Well, she’s a very good singer,” Georgia replied, “Not my kind of music, but pop wasn’t around in Ancient Greece.”
“Maybe you could show me what kind of music you like,” the man hissed.
“I don’t even know your name,” Georgia said.
“It’s Nikronvert,” Nikronvert answered, “I do the second best parties around here, and what do you mean by Ancient Greece anyway?” Nikronvert pulled Georgia closer to him, Georgia made a little squealing noise and she dropped the fish on the floor.

“Georgia, is everything ok?” Conner asked, as he approached Georgia and Nikronvert.
“Everything’s fine,” Georgia said, pushing Nikronvert away, and stamping hard on his foot before she walked away with Conner. Nikronvert grabbed his foot in pain and started hopping away backwards. He tripped and fell into the pool in the centre of the courtyard. Archimedes saw Nikronvert in the pool and started laughing heartily.
“Was that anything to do with you?” Conner asked Georgia, as she smirked.
“No,” Georgia replied innocently.

“Anyway, the Doctor’s managed to get us seats on the high table in the dining room, don’t know how he did it,” Conner told Georgia, who was still watching Nikronvert struggling to get out of the pool. Sellina rushed forward to help him up, but Nikronvert’s wife, the singer, was also smirking.
“Do you think it’s odd that Nikronvert’s wife finds her husband tripping and falling into a pool of water satisfying,” Georgia said, still watching as Nikronvert finally got out of the pool.
“Georgia, didn’t you hear what I just said?” Conner asked.
“Of course I did, the Doctor’s moving in high society,” Georgia said.

It was about half an hour later when they assembled in Archimedes’ dining room for a feast. Archimedes sat in the middle of the high table, Nikronvert’s wife, who was called Golgotha, sat to his right, the Doctor on his left. Next to the Doctor sat Conner then Georgia, then some young Greek men.
“And so as I told you earlier Doctor, my servants work for nothing, really they should be paying me, I give them a laugh every day!” Archimedes boomed, and laughed.
“But surely, they would get more out of a paid job,” the Doctor replied.
“Well, he offers them a place in his household and an invitation to all of his famous parties,” Golgotha butted in, she had a deep, pronounced voice.
“Not to mention, free meals and their own bedrooms,” Archimedes added, stroking his beard, “I pay all my cooks, but most are temporary for my parties. They really have worked hard today.”
“Yes, and here comes the first course now,” the Doctor said, as twenty servants carrying plates of food entered the room and served the guests starting at the high table.

“Hmm, Greek food,” Georgia said smiling, “What’s this?” Georgia began to chat to the young men sitting next to her and Conner frowned.
“Who’s the woman sitting next to Archimedes? Is it his wife?” Conner asked the Doctor, as a huge cooked chicken was placed in front of him by Sellina.
“That’s not his wife; it’s his good friend,” the Doctor replied, “Although it’s his enemy, Nikronvert’s wife. He was the one who fell in the pool earlier.”
“Georgia stood on his foot,” Conner replied, as he looked over at Georgia chatting. The second course was a wide range of breads in gourmet sauces. When it arrived Archimedes stood up to address his guests.
“We must remember the God’s Demeter and Persephone, who have granted us this feast,” Archimedes said, “And the wonderful cooks who have prepared it for us.”

Georgia noticed Nikronvert sneak into the room, from the door that several servants were emerging from carrying dishes of food.
“Hey Conner,” Georgia said turning to Conner.
“Oh you’re talking to me now are you?” Conner said, “Are your new friends too boring for you.”
“Conner, are you jealous?” Georgia questioned, narrowing her eyes.
“No!” Conner snapped, “What do you want anyway?”

“Well, you know Nikronvert over there,” Georgia said, “Oooh I’m a poet and I didn’t know it!”
“What about him?” Conner asked bluntly.
“He just emerged from the kitchens, I don’t think he’s up to any good,” Georgia told Conner.
“Just because you don’t like him Georgia, doesn’t mean he’s up to no good,” Conner replied.
“Conner, I’m serious I think he’s done something,” Georgia snapped, “The food!” Georgia stared down the table and saw Archimedes beginning to eat.
“STOP!” Georgia exclaimed.
“Georgia sit down!” Conner ordered.
“Archimedes, please don’t eat that!” Georgia screamed.
“Why is that?” Archimedes asked, “Who are you anyway?”
“That is my friend Georgia sir,” the Doctor replied, “She’s from… Sparta.”
“SPARTA?” Golgotha exclaimed, “That place is overrun with barbarians and hooligans!”
“Silence my dear,” Archimedes replied, “Why shouldn’t I eat this?”
“She thinks its wrong,” the Doctor explained, “Where she comes from they don’t eat, they only drink erm… stuff. Now, Georgia don't be rude.”

“That food’s been poisoned!” Georgia shouted, “Nobody should eat that food!”
“I already have,” Archimedes said, “And I feel fine.”
“What a surprise,” Conner said sarcastically, Georgia spontaneously hit him.
“And it looks like many of my guests have tucked in too,” Archimedes added, “And we all feel-flerghh, blercc!” Archimedes grabbed his throat with his hands and fell to the floor, at the same time many of the guests fell to the floor choking.

“Oh my goodness!” Golgotha squeaked, “Dear Archimedes!” Georgia and Conner rushed to Archimedes side, Conner looked at Georgia apologetically.
“It’s all right Conner,” Georgia replied to Conner’s expression. The Doctor sniffed the food.
“It’s been laced with Conium,” the Doctor exclaimed, “I need to get back to the TARDIS to get an antidote. Conner, make sure nobody leaves.” The Doctor left the room rapidly, and in 5 minutes he returned with his pockets stuffed full of bottles of a purple substance.

“That was quick,” Conner said.
“Can you help give the antidote out please,” the Doctor said.
“I’ll help,” Sellina said. Sellina, Conner and Georgia received bottles from the Doctor and gave them to the guests who had been poisoned.

“We need to give some to dear Archimedes!” Golgotha said hysterically.
“Of course,” the Doctor replied giving Golgotha a bottle, Golgotha unscrewed the top and began to pour the liquid into Archimedes’ mouth.
“I think that’s enough,” the Doctor told Golgotha, who stopped pouring.

Georgia gave the antidote to an old woman, then a young man, she stood up and walked into Nikronvert. Georgia gritted her teeth.
“Be more careful girl!” Nikronvert snapped.
“How dare you!” Georgia replied angrily, “You poisoned all these people!”
“How dare you accuse me of such a thing!” Nikronvert roared.
“How dare you shout at me!” Georgia shouted in retaliation, before seizing a jar of a green substance from a pocket in his robe. The Doctor ran over to Georgia and Nikronvert, all the guests were watching now.

“Is that Conium Doctor?” Georgia asked giving the jar to him.
“It’s a green powdery substance, he’s ground up the conium leaves,” the Doctor replied.

“No!” Sellina exclaimed running over, “Nikronvert would never do something like that!”
“Well he had an affair with you didn’t he?” Golgotha said marching over, “That little girl and you seduced her Nikronvert.”
“I’m not a little girl!” Sellina replied, “And Nikronvert is an honourable man.”
“Yeah, I guess love is blind,” Georgia said nastily.
“Especially if you fall for a bearded brute like Archimedes,” Nikronvert snarled.
“Oh,” the Doctor said in realisation.
“God, this is like bloody Eastenders,” Conner commented.
“Archimedes and I are in love!” Golgotha said.
“They did keep calling each other dear, and I thought it was kind of fishy to have Nikronvert’s wife sitting next to Archimedes,” Georgia said to Conner.

“But why did you want to poison all these people?” the Doctor asked Nikronvert.
“Because I had parties, Gourmet dinners and then Archimedes’ parties became more popular than mine,” Nikronvert said, “Most don’t even bother coming to mine and then I found out Golgotha and him were in love.”
“That’s like Georgia getting upset because she’s not as cool as me, but she doesn’t, get over it,” Conner said sarcastically.
“I’m going to slap you in a minute,” Georgia said through gritted teeth.

“Golgotha and I are in love,” Archimedes said as he staggered over, “My parties are far better than yours because I’m a far nicer person.”
“Your also really modest,” Nikronvert snarled.
“I’ll have you know that Nikronvert and I are in love,” Sellina replied, “And I think we know who got the nicer girl.”
“Me, you thin tiny thing,” Archimedes answered.
“Stick up for me, why don’t you?” Sellina growled at Nikronvert.
“All he is is a womaniser!” Golgotha cried, as the Doctor led Georgia and Conner out of the room.

“I think we should leave them to it,” the Doctor said.
“But I want to see what happens,” Georgia replied.
“I can tell you if you want,” the Doctor answered, “Archimedes’ parties suddenly become less popular and so does Archimedes, Nikronvert is sent to jail. Golgotha leaves Archimedes for a richer old gent and the servant Sellina dies of a broken heart.”

“Lovely,” Conner said, as they left Archimedes’ residence and strolled back through the streets of Athens.

THE END